Revealing what is beneath the surface

“The camera is first a means of self-discovery and a means of self growth. The artist has one thing to say – himself”. – Minor White

I notice when creating with no audience in mind, my own voice keeps surfacing without any worries of judgment. I recently listened to a podcast with the photographer Cig Harvey. She said holding a camera is akin to holding a pencil, you have the tool to craft your own story. Photography also acts as a Ouija board. Your photographs can tell you what your concerns, hopes and dreams that you may not be aware of. I couldn't have agreed more with her assessment.

Lately I have been dabbling in taking self-portraits. I have always been fascinated by the genre. As photographers, we find ourselves behind the camera way more often than in front of it. and while I don’t feel too comfortable when posing to others, I feel a bit more confident working on my own, and I feel it is a healthy practice as I am given the opportunity to express myself through stories. The most precious benefit of storytelling is how cathartic it is. When I feel I am going through good or bad times, I have a powerful tool to express those moments of emotions that I am going through. It also teaches me how to express myself as genuinely as possible.

Self-acceptance is also a big benefit with taking self-portraits. This is perhaps one of the ways self-portraiture has the most impact on building my confidence. It has been a great struggle getting used to the person I see in the mirror. Taking self-portraits has helped me to accept my body in all its stages, especially as I get older. It has helped me to get to know myself better and to see myself from a different perspective. After I had chicken pox and had scars on my face as a child, I became very conscious of people looking at me when we had conversations. I found myself slightly turning away from their gaze as I felt people would see all the scars on my face. I could hear the voice in my head "please don't look at me, please don't look at me". Then in later years, the freckles started to show up, and that added more to my discomfort. I started feeling better in my own skin after certain self-portraits I took. I believe it is a powerful tool for people who feel awkward about themselves in whichever way.

It is also a great way of documenting the way you change. If you take self-portraits inspired by events and emotions, you get to see how you change emotionally and preserve some striking moments of your life. If you’re fully involved in both posing and capturing the photo, you can live the moment more intensely. This helps you focus on the emotion or the story you want to tell. If it is a positive one, it just feels great to evoke it. And if it is negative, confronting it in such an intense manner may help to process the difficult emotions and may give you the opportunity to heal.

I believe most of us enjoy spending some quality time with ourselves alone occasionally. Taking self-portraits provides me with a great opportunity to indulge in my being alone time. I feel like a child playing while I am taking photos by myself, especially at this early stage when I am new to this genre, everything feels very experimental, and I have no clue yet as to what I am doing. Self-portraits fall into this category of images I take when I just want to be on my own and be kind to myself. Other than giving myself time to practice photography, it also gives me some precious time to think and ponder who I am. What a wonderful way to reflect!